To Be A Silent Killer

meleeza

This was first written last June 17, 2006. Any emotions or mood that may be identified with the author may not currently exist anymore...

Pathetic. Nakakaawa kung tutuusin. Pilit kong inaalis sa isip ko ang mga pagdududa sa ‘yo ngunit ngayon alam ko na. Hindi ko alam kung hindi mo sinasadyang nasasaktan ako. Dahil na rin sa mga kaisipiang nabubuo ko. O marahil gusto mo nga talaga akong masaktan. Akala ko dati aka ng nakakagulo. Maling akala. Kung titignan nating maigi, ikaw nga pala talaga ang nakakagulo sa ‘kin. Gulong-gulo ang aking isip. Di ko akalaing puro kasinungalian lang pala ang lahat. Ang galing mo! Paano mo nakuhang gawin ;to? Sabi mo pa dati bakit ka naman magsisinungaling kung wala naman premyo? Isang palabas lamang pala yun. At dahil dyan binibigyan kita ng premyo. Isang parangal para sa taong pinakanakasakit sa ‘kin. Bakit ngayon wala kang kibo? Wala ka ba man lang gusting sabihin? Siguro nga wag ka na lang magsalita dahil baka puro kasinungalingan na naman ang marinig ko. Kung matagal ka ng ganito sana itigil mo na. Sana ako na ang huling lolokohin mo. Hindi lahat ng gusto mong magpapasaya sa yo ay makukuha mo. Kung may hinanakit sa puso mo, wag mong ipasa sa iba. Matuto kang gamitin ito sa paglago mo bilang isang tao. Salamat na lang sa lahat. Ang ating pagkakaibigan… sana nga’y hindi mawala…

meleeza

What made me interested in you was your personality. At first glace, you had that serious look. That look made me felt the depth of your personality. It seemed like there's so much mystery in you. Days pasy by and we didn't notice that we were already in a same group. There, I began to meet your other side -- your smile that lights up your face. I'd never thought we would be close. We had a good start, just like any other strangers-now-friends would have. Days past by again and it seemed like I've known you since forever. But as our fantasy sets it sail, a sudden news came. A commitment you have with someone -- that I must not intervene. And so I slowly moved away because now I know where my place should be. I knew I shouldn't have expected anything for everything was so unclear. Now you say you want to clear things out. How come just now? Why did it have to go this far? So far that both of us are now hurt. You will never know how much pain this has caused me. And I would never know how much pain this may have caused you, too. A lot of confusion blurs my mind now. I was certain that I know I must go to where I should be, but you keep pulling me towards you. And this makes me more jaded for there is no reality between us. A pseudo, just like what you said. All we had were elusive chances for us to talk -- really talk.

to be continued...

this was first written 05/16/2006 and edited just now.

meleeza

Our summer job is officially over. Our last shift (graveyard) was last saturday. We were not expecting it to end that day because we thought we still have another day for this week. But then the surprise came our way. Later will be the last (hopefully not) time will be seeing each other because it's our payday. Really, time flies when you're having fun. Yes, a csr's work is hard but when you're surrounded by nice people such as my batchmates in Ventus, you'll never feel tired. Thank you to each and everyone!

I'll write my specific thank yous next time...

meleeza

I am currently at my workplace here in ePLDT Ventus Ortigas. Today is my 5th day of official work (the first 2 weeks were the training). I just had my 15 minute break and I've been idle for more than 10 minutes now.
During my first day of official work, the 1st caller I had was a lady. She sounded like she's in her 40s. Since I kept on requesting her to repeat (spelling) the informations I get from her, I sensed that she's a little irritated or impatient (assuming?) or maybe she just sounded serious, that's why. I didn't receive any hang (hung?) ups during my first day, but come 2nd, 3rd, 4th day and today, hang (hung?) ups came. I don't know if that's a mark down for our QA. To hell with those people who hangs (hungs?) up on us.
And since my shift for this week starts at 7:30a and ends at 11:30a, 2:00p. 12:30n, 12:00n, 12:30, 2:30p, monday-saturday, respectively, I already have cough and colds because of the sudden changes in temperature. Just imagine staying in fully airconditioned place (and sometimes it can be extremely cold) then when you go outside, the temperature is freakin' hot.

that's all for now...